@Pee_And_Giggles: My 84 mother to my 19: Make-up sure does wonders but you don't want your future husband waking up wondering who you are in the morning.
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@peachesanscream: You've seen nothing until you've seen a picture of a pigeon having a job interview to become a pigeon:
@omgthatspunny: The comedian stopped at the fabric store on his way to a comedy gig. He was looking for new material.
@bea_ker: [guy bursts into crowded real estate agents] OK NOBODY MOVE *from back office* Aw c'mon man - really? It's tough enough in this economy.