@Cheeseboy22: My 8yo son spent 45 minutes perusing and closely inspecting the 31 flavors to finally decide on "chocolate."
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@MafiaJoker78: New neighbours just moved in... I baked them some goodies as a welcome & a warning to never eat at my house.
@HousewifeOfHell: ...and when you saw 3 sets of footprints in the sand, that's when it took the entire Holy Trinity to carry you after all those piña coladas.
@bornmiserable: My dad caught me smoking meat once and forced me to smoke an entire pack of pork chops. Now I run a successful butcher shop, thanks Dad.
@AnOrangeSNES: I hired a nanny to watch my kids. Little did she know they were just two sacks of potatoes. When I got home I accused her of witchcraft.