@Cheeseboy22: My 8yo son spent 45 minutes perusing and closely inspecting the 31 flavors to finally decide on "chocolate."
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@SadieSmithRoks: Is no shave November just for men? Asking for my female Italian coworker and her mustache.
@shkeeber: Me: Objection! The plaintiff is a bologna sandwich! Judge: What? M: I plead insanity. J: You're a juror. Me: Can I go? J: No. M: OBJECTION!
@WheelTod: [Couples' Counselling] Her: If he doesn't stop talking in corporate cliches I'm leaving him Me (in tears): Please don't downsize our unit!
@topaz_kell: When there's a police car behind you with their lights flashing... It means speed up, right?