@ericsshadow: My 9 year old ran away for an hour and by the time he came back my wife had already turned his bedroom into a yoga studio.
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@ZingingCutie: If I end up on life support, feel free to pull the plug.. However, if I'm charging my phone, stay the hell away from the outlet.
@bigmacher: Please retweet my son, it would mean a lot to him, apparently his mother's love isn't enough for him. #IfYourMomWroteYourTwitterBio
@MatCro: I'll never forget my grandad's last words on his deathbed. He said: "I should never have bought this deathbed. Asking for trouble..."