@juliussharpe: The ending of "Romeo and Juliet" is only sad if you think two fourteen year-olds should have gotten married.

@jwoodham: Don't text and drive. Just pull over until you're done using your phone. That's what I do. I've been on the side of the road since 2011.

@SexyKitty975: Bro:hey how are you? Me: eh, feeling stabby B: B:I'm afraid if I tell you that's not a real word you'll show me what it means. Me: smart

@justabloodygame: "It's terminal-" GOD! HOW LONG DO I HAVE? "Departure time is in three hours." THREE? WHAT DO I DO? "This is an airport." SO WHAT? I'M DYING!

@CarolinaSong: I'm at the bar & I'm trying to convince this girl with a leopard print shirt to go & bite this girl with a zebra print shirt.