@OpenClassMX: My actual wife and my twitter wife are talking via Kik. I will be camping in the woods forever if you need me.
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@Tmoney68: Parents are hiring drug-sniffing dogs to find their kids' drugs. I couldn't do it. My kid already doesn't trust me, according to her diary.
@FlyJ_: The best way to stop uninvited guests from stopping by your home is to always answer the door naked.
@trentistweeting: "doctor, help! my son shattered one of his kneecaps!" it's ok, the human body can survive on one kid-knee