@AmnesiaRose: My alarm is set to the sound of a heart monitor's flatline so I startle awake every morning and think, "whew. Close call."
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@NinsunG: Apparently, 4 people die every year trying to put their pants on... - me, explaining to my (ex)boss why I went in with no pants
@sfreeze6: [2015 Bird Awards] AND THE AWARD FOR GROSSEST NAME GOES TO...HORNED GUAN (Lizard Buzzard quietly puts acceptance speech back in pocket)