@AmnesiaRose: My alarm is set to the sound of a heart monitor's flatline so I startle awake every morning and think, "whew. Close call."
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@rockymomax: SURGEON (who is an octopus): scalpel NURSE: [sweating trying to figure out what arm to hand it to] yup one second
@AdamBroud: Gym Employee: Thats not how you operate that machine, sir. Me: *Hanging clothes all over treadmill* But this is how I use it at home.
@WritePlay: ME: So are you gonna put it in me or what NURSE: Sir it's a blood draw please stop saying that