@Not_From_Troy: My ambition is to be the last man on earth so that I can find out if all those girls were telling the truth.
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@P1ssed_K1d: Woman at drive-thru just called me "honey." Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike.
@EndhooS: Fireman: Is anyone else inside the house? Me: Uh yes..my son is trapped in my room he- [fireman charges into blaze] ..HE LOOKS LIKE AN XBOX
@SalimAliAhmad: Do you ever go on youtube just to watch a music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?