@CulturedRuffian: My anaconda don't want none unless you use proper grammar and avoid using double negatives.
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@LaniBeno: I should probably do some housework before they try to film the next Febreeze commercial here.
@WheelTod: If your kid is having nightmares & keeps getting in bed with you in the night, a great solution is to go to sleep in full clown makeup.
@lilgapeach30: If an officer asks "do you know why I pulled you over" "Because it's the only way to get girls to talk to you?" is a bad answer, apparently.