@TheToddWilliams: My anchor tattoo is so realistic I can't get out of the bathtub.
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@TheBoydP: Say what you will about Facebook but when my wife sees posts by my extended family, at least I don’t look so bad.
@Frankie_Val: 100 ways to reach me: 1.) Text Me. 2.) Call Me. 2.) E-Mail. 3.) FB .... 98.) Homing Pigeon. 99.) Signal Flares. 100.) Voice Mail
@mrtruthandsoul: Breaking News: Scientists clone a new hybrid cantalope and cauliflower. "We call it the melon-cauli," says Dr. Noah Lot of OMG I'm so sorry
@nbadag: "my god, that man is trying to snatch her purse!" i'll be RIGHT back *ducks into phone booth* *pops head out 5 mins later* is he gone yet