@Ryan_Patricks: My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car.
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@BradBroaddus: My wife must have some big surprise vacation planned. She left a note by the bed telling me I had until tomorrow to have my bags packed.
@TheAlexNevil: Pro Tip: don't fall asleep during the middle of an argument with your spouse over whether or not you pay attention to her.
@GrantTanaka: showed up to a party wearing the same shirt as someone else, how did we both fit in one shirt
@Cryptoterra: Christian politicians hate science because they think it's always talking about two Adams bonding