@Ryan_Patricks: My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car.
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@pinupteacher: Hey baby, lemme see what's under that shell. Ugh, as if. *Lady turtle starts walking away.* [3 hours later] I still see you there baby.
@jackiembouvier: [Me and coworker going for the last piece of cake] You'd better ask yourself if you can type with one hand, Nancy from Accounting.
@DudeInABearSuit: If we are talking and I reach up and slowly turn my bear suit head around backward, our conversation is over.