@Ryan_Patricks: My annoying little cousin is bragging about how he sleeps in a race car bed. Whatever, you little idiot.. I sleep in a real car.
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@Underchilde: My parents are in town and said they’d be at my house in ten minutes, and I’m wondering if that’s enough time to build a moat.
@NoogsCorner: An ancient tribe of homosapiens split off from the rest and stared at the sun for thousands of years. Today we call them Asians.
@someniceflowers: "my son, can I ask why you're carrying two HUGE crucifixes?" Well father, I've been... Double-crossed *God starts breakdancing*