@IGotsSmarts: My apathy is at an all time whatever.
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@markedly: My teenage son Filbert was ejected from the Young Republicans for naming his pet lizard Bernie Salamanders. You bet your buns he's grounded.
@AimeeHelene1: (Gamblers Anonymous meeting) Leader: Bob, tell us why you're here. Me: $20 it's a Blackjack addiction. Group: *all rushing to place bets*
@DanKCharnley: I'm jealous of turtles because if they don't want to talk to someone, they're like "Nah, dude, busy in my shell right now. Come back later."
@NicktheDrummy: We're gonna party like its 1999. //breaks out Nokia flip phone and starts to panick about Y2K//