@realHamOnWry: My apologies to Tom Cruise. I honestly thought that Scientologists dug up and studied old scientists.
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@wolfpupy: i argued with the parrot at the pet store until it got sold away and the guy who bought it wouldnt let me in his car. that means i won
@neiltyson: Because you know I’m all about that data, ‘bout that data. No trouble. I’m all about that data, ‘bout that data. No trouble.
@RorynotRoy: I wish someone would hold me and tell me that everything is gonna be okay and then just kinda turn into like $20,000 in cash.
@shanethevein: Cop said that it's illegal for me to have flashing lights & siren on my car. I looked at his car and said are you going to arrest yourself?