@Jake_Vig: My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
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@1BigMick: When I drop my son off at school I do one arm pushups at the entrance to let the other dads know that's what's up. But they're all at work.
@velweb: 12 yr. old daughter: My friend Samantha said she thinks you're handsome. Me: Aww. That's cute. How about her mom? Has she said anything?
@AimeeHelene1: Threw my back out today reaching for the shampoo in the shower. But I'll be telling everyone it's from having sex while skydiving.