@Jake_Vig: My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
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@shutupmikeginn: Mentally fistfighting everyone I pass on sidewalk (watched action movie earlier) my record is 33-10 but to be fair I walked by a school.
@KrazykurtKurt: Job interview: "what would you say is your biggest achievement is to date" "I once wore a hat to bed and it was still on in the morning"
@PaperWash: Our Ideal candidate: -Minimum 3,000 years exp. -Must have 8 PhD's -Speak Klingon 80 hrs a week $7.15 an hour Must be passionate about work!
@TheDailySchmuck: If someone upsets you, write a nasty letter and file it away before you say something you might regret. Then punch the person in the face.