@Jake_Vig: My arm fell asleep, which is understandable, considering how boring the rest of my body has been.
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@noogscorner: The early bird catches the worm. And the late bird catches one of the other trillion worms left. What's your point?
@XplodingUnicorn: I made my 4-year-old sit at the table till she finished her lunch It took her 3 hours She was so excited to be done Then I served dinner.
@michaeljhudson: *dog runs for president* *is asked race sensitive question "The thing is, I don't see color" *crowd goes wild*
@OnlyFastEddie: I stick pins and needles in the people I don't like because can't afford voodoo dolls.