@DurtMcHurtt: My attention span is shorter than donuts are better with sprinkles.
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@AmericanGent69: Me: Finally, time to sleep! Brain: ahem Me: oh God please no Brain: I was thinking we could sing that catchy commercial jingle. 87 times.
@junejuly12: When I see a man with long fingernails, my first thought is wizard My second thought is virgin wizard
@KyleMcDowell86: It's only a matter of time before the casino realizes that baby I lost at the roulette table wasn't mine
@Sassafrantz: 57% of serial killers were bed wetters until an unusually advanced age. Let's make fun of them! What's the worst that could hap..never mind.