@WaluigiLover: My aunt is trying to convince me that I'm gonna have kids. I named my kittens lunchbox and cocaine Steve. No one is gonna let me have a kid.
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@CaniacMONK: *Sees thing on floor *Vacuums over said thing *Vacuum cant pick it up *Picks up thing *Looks at it *Puts it back on the floor to vacuum
@AaronFullerton: "Oh, don't use that picture of me, honey. Please, I look so old in that one. You must have a better picture." -Whistler's Mother
@Parentpains: If you didn't want me to wash my car on your lawn than you never should have turned your sprinkler on.