@WaluigiLover: My aunt is trying to convince me that I'm gonna have kids. I named my kittens lunchbox and cocaine Steve. No one is gonna let me have a kid.
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@donni: Finally, you get a cab. The driver is a golden retriever. You hop in and hope for the best
@david8hughes: Wife: whats that? Son: I painted a picture of a cat Wife: it's very good Me: if it was very good you wouldn't have needed to ask what it was
@AmishPornStar1: Survival Tip: When flipping off your wife behind her back... Make sure she's not standing in front of a mirror.