@WaluigiLover: My aunt is trying to convince me that I'm gonna have kids. I named my kittens lunchbox and cocaine Steve. No one is gonna let me have a kid.
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@d_duhwit: Octopus 1:" Woah. There's an arm just swimming by itself." Octopus 2:" that's an eel you idiot."
@GrillinChillin9: Whoever the first person was to throw shit in to a fan must have had a lot of explaining to do afterwards.
@ChipKellysBalls: Next time you decide to complain about your problems, just remember, some guy out there has Snooki as his mom ...
@shegotagronk: I'm reenacting the War of 1812 with 47 gummy bears so I think the Ambien has finally kicked in. Casualties have been immense... & delicious