@BradBroaddus: My aunt's ex-boyfriend's mailman's brother said it on Facebook so I don't think any further research is necessary.
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@fridaycandy: I tell people that the secret ingredient in my cookies is "love" but it's actually "floor" .
@MelvinofYork: The lady from HR challenged me to name one of my boss's good qualities and the best I could come up with is "he's biodegradable"
@scottthetwat: Homes are 750 square feet larger today than they were 30 years ago. Unfortunately, so are most Americans.
@sadhatterskwrl: To those folks who retweet my timeline and get my phone buzzing *thank you *I see you *I love you *we married now *it's too late *it's done