@BradBroaddus: My aunt's ex-boyfriend's mailman's brother said it on Facebook so I don't think any further research is necessary.
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@SilleVio: Joined a street protest. Suddenly a shot, panic and everybody started running. 3 hours and a gold medal later I realised it was a marathon
@Stabby_smurf: If procrastinating were an Olympic sport, I would show up just in time to miss the medal ceremony.
@Dawn_M_: Show him you care by setting his house on fire so he will have to move in with you and never be lonely again.
@lilgapeach30: The black smoke coming from my toaster indicates a new pop tart has been selected!