@gurl_sour: My autocorrect changes c**ts to China. Hey don't blame me. I'm not the racist code programmer.
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@lilgapeach30: Make fun of my footy pajamas if you must, but all you naked sleepers are gonna be up shit creek if your house catches on fire in the night.
@WilliamRodgers: BREAKING NEWS Justin Bieber said... And I quote, "Only God can Judge me!" THIS JUST IN ...Apparently I'm God.
@SCbchbum: I listen to Ed Sheeran in the same way I stuff an entire cupcake in my mouth over the sink hoping no one will see.
@envydatropic: I've been on my best behavior ever since the words "you can be charged as an adult" applied to me