@xLiserx: My autocorrect just changed "I'm off" to "I'm DTF" and changed a casual conversation with my boss into an H.R meeting.
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@flashember: [Romeo and Juliet as turtles] ROMEO: Death hath sucked the honey of thy breath JULIET: I'm just stuck on my back R: we're turtles, Juliet
@Lipgloss_Nerd: Even in the darkest moments there's always a light at the end of the tunnel, but yours will probably be an oncoming freight train.
@3sunzzz: My sign? I'm a Zebra, no grey areas for me. Narrator: Ursula was indeed a Libra. She often confused astrology with zoology.
@Mekellie: As I see it, the act of lovemaking should be sacred, caring, and worth the 200 bucks I charge for it.