@Mike_Bianchi: My band is so indie we don't even record together. You have to buy 4 separate cds and play them at the same time.
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@Scott_A_Gilmore: Few people know that inventor of the car alarm Enrico Irritanti never owned an automobile. He did, however, passionately hate his neighbors.
@bornmiserable: My dad caught me smoking meat once and forced me to smoke an entire pack of pork chops. Now I run a successful butcher shop, thanks Dad.
@UncleDuke1969: ME: What’s in the bag? FRIEND: A bicycle helmet for my kid. ME: When I was a kid, we didn’t wear helmets, and we turned out just fine. FRIEND: Well, you know- ME: When I was a kid, we didn’t wear helmets, and we turned out just fine. FRIEND: ... ME: What’s in the bag?
@gengen874: Went on a date once. He ordered for me, "She'll have a small side salad." I said, "Yes, and a side of sirloin and a loaded baked potato."