@SoundOfSaad: My bank account status is more scary than the Conjuring!
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Just_Lee_: The world is full of terrible people, but there's none so evil as the man who fries bacon right next door to the gym.
@jazmasta: [speaking to an attractive lady] "How can a beautiful girl like you be single?!" "Dave, I literally dumped you 5 minutes ago. Please leave"
@MattMcElaney: "...any reason why these 2 should not be married, speak now or..." They're engagement photo only got 21 likes on Facebook! *crowd GASPS*