@mattZillaaaa: My bank called me for suspicious activity on my account & I was like "no, I went out last night"
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@shariv67: When villainy didn't pay anymore, The Riddler got a job writing furniture assembly instructions for IKEA.
@QwertyJones3: My excitement about your Indian food is largely dependent on your pronunciation of "cumin".
@IamEnidColeslaw: the worst part of senior prom was definitely dropping my date and my grandfather's ashes going EVERYWHERE
@turtledumplin: We all have that one friend who thinks they can sing...and if you can't think of who, that friend is you.