@mattZillaaaa: My bank called me for suspicious activity on my account & I was like "no, I went out last night"
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@Pickles5366: Friend's Fb post: In search of a coat hanger My comment: Are you pregnant or are you locked out of your car? I've been on Twitter too long
@RobbyRob313: When I said that you'd always have a place to stay in rough times, I meant like a motel or a shelter. Anyway ... You can't stay here.
@DurtMcHurtt: [kung fu fight] "Your tiger claw is no match for my crane." *starts lifting heavy building materials*