@mattZillaaaa: My bank called me for suspicious activity on my account & I was like "no, I went out last night"
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@DBMaxP: Having a dog around pretty much denies any opportunity to take advantage of the 5 second rule on a dropped chip
@Book_Krazy: * Kindergarten* Hi kids! I'm the homeroom mom for your class. [writes name on chalkboard] [Boy Raises hand] We can't read. No one can read
@GrantTanaka: "Can you validate my parking?" "You parked beautifully. Your dad would be proud." *wipes away tears* "Thanks."