@mattZillaaaa: My bank called me for suspicious activity on my account & I was like "no, I went out last night"
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@Cheeseboy22: Mowed the lawn yesterday with my shirt off and this morning there were 50 shirts left on my porch with a sign that said, "Please wear."
@mexinonblonde: Him-You have the most beautiful lips. Me-Wait...how do you know what my..... Ohhhhh, you mean the lips in my Avi! Yes, I know. Thank you.
@SarcasticAlly12: You know in a video game when you kept pushing b to get through the talking part but later realized you should've read it? That's adulthood.
@RandomAntics: The best revenge is living well, so I really need to know what the second best revenge is.