@shkeeber: My bank has informed me that Twitter followers can not be used as collateral for a car loan. You guys are useless.
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@markydoodoo: [inventing the pelican] god: ok so we ran out of beaks but i found this traffic cone
@Jmboyd58: *Jesus multiplies a loaf of bread for the masses* From the back: Actually I'm gluten free now. Jesus: ughhh, someone get me a fish
@Tadicles: When Miley Cyrus is naked and licks a hammer it's "art" and "music" , but when I do it I'm "wasted" and "have to leave the Hardware Store"