@GarreTheFerret: My bank sends a text with my balance. It's a nice feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.
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@FatherWithTwins: Someone cut in front of me in the salad bar line today. I didn't do anything because anyone who wants a salad that badly terrifies me.
@FierceMess: Wanna live a long life? Get married. I guarantee you'll change your mind real quick.
@Prero22: Person: It's not rocket science. Rocket science [wipes forehead and exhales] : Whew! Nearly got caught there.