@mjkspeaks: My bank statement is just a visual record of bad decisions.
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@iamspacegirl: The crocodile is the most relatable character in Peter Pan because he really just wants to devour that one specific guy but will also happily eat whatever garbage that guy throws at him.
@Henry_3k: Sure, Michelle Obama said those words first but Melania Trump had the imagination to say them like an operative in a cold war spy thriller.
@LlamaInaTux: Therapist: What is your greatest fear Me: That Daniel Day Lewis could be playing the role of any person in my life Therapist: *starts shifting very uncomfortably*