@Ahm76: My beef with you is that you're too chicken to pork me.
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@flashember: DAUGHTER: Mom asked me to check on you and the eggnog making ME [wrestling a screaming chicken into a blender full of milk]: GRAB ITS LEGS
@Parkerlawyer: "I got in a fight at Michaels over glitter glue once, so you should probably step aside." -Me, to a guy buying the last of my favorite wine
@GoFrankGo: Look, Clinton's gonna win. US President order has to follow Star Trek Captain order: white guy, white guy, black guy, woman, Scott Bakula.