@KKenuz: my beloved wife was on the second earth as it detached from our earth and drifted forever #FirstWorldProblems
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@: My friend Luke didn’t realise until he was an adult that lukewarm was a real temperature, he thought it was just a term his mum used to describe his bath water.
@dafloydsta: [date] HER: So do you like Star Wars? ME: Oh yeah HER: Who's your favorite character? ME: *nervously looking at smudged notes* Yoga
@squirrel74wkgn: If you see a man running down the street tonight, blowing a whistle & wearing a life guard shirt...don't worry, I'm just chasing my dream.
@MomOfTeen: That was THE best 10 hours of sleep I've ever had. Thanks for asking me to sleep with you! Huh. You look upset.