@KKenuz: my beloved wife was on the second earth as it detached from our earth and drifted forever #FirstWorldProblems
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@yonewt: Listening to "Bad Company" by Bad Company from their album "Bad Company" how do they come up with this stuff
@JB4Realz: [Reality TV] HOST: Welcome to America's Next Top Psychic! Please, try not to-- *One contestant stands up*: I WON! H: --ruin it.
@WheelTod: I hate it when people go round quoting the bible. I haven't even read it yet, but somehow folks think it's cool to give key plot points away
@WilliamRodgers: [Bruce Willis on his deathbed] Bruce: Viagra! Dr: Bruce this isn't the time- Bruce: Give me...a Viagra! Dr: Ok *Bruce Dies...Hard*