@KKenuz: my beloved wife was on the second earth as it detached from our earth and drifted forever #FirstWorldProblems
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@IncrediblyRich: If Bob The Builder's slogan is "Can he fix it?" then he's not really a builder is he? More of a repairman.
@Playing_Dad: [Job interview] Interviewer: Do you have any questions? Me: Who closes the door when the bus driver gets off the bus? Interviewer: Holy shit
@SteveSackington: I'm not saying I have a questionable work ethic, but I just got called lazy by a guy wearing velcro shoes.
@Billhenry16: I buried a time capsule when I was 9. This is the year we are going to dig it up. I can't wait to see how big my puppy got.