@ObscureGent: My best dating advice is to wait after you have two kids and a house before you tell her you speak elvish.
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@TheCatWhisprer: If you thought you had a rough night, my toddler couldn't wear an oven mitt to bed.
@NotThatKristi: We're adults. It's bad enough we selfie. Don't make it worse with the surprise face selfie
@LoriLuvsShoes: A man in the car beside me had his arm out the window and I was admiring his sleeve tattoo until I realized it was only excessive arm hair