@msred1973: My best relationship advice: Make sure you're the crazy one.
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@RuthDavidsonMSP: Obviously, it would be hugely childish & wrong to chuckle at Linus & Florian, the backbone of Germany's hockey team.
@MartaEffing: *leaning seductively, slowly dragging fingertip across countertop* Me: how much for the entire case? Donut shop clerk: ma'am, $8.99 a dozen
@mishakey: Pretty weird to think that in the future, there will be old people named 'Hailey' and 'Brayden' running around in vintage Twilight t-shirts.
@Hellaphantitis: At my funeral play the Super Mario original theme until my casket is lowered in the ground then play the underground music