@Kalarlis: my bf is wonderful but he will never be as soft as my roommate's dog who moved out of the house WHY GREG WHY CAN'T YOU BE AS SOFT AS THE DOG
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@FlyJ_: The best way to stop uninvited guests from stopping by your home is to always answer the door naked.
@PhuckinCody: [first date] me: what's ur favorite word? her: probably "ethereal," it means- me: mine is "shuttlecock."
@TheTimmyToes: [JanSport keynote address] (audience grumbling) "where is he?" *CEO emerges from backpack on stage* *crowd goes nuts*