@SomthinBoutSara: My biggest fear is dying in a car accident that doesn't destroy my phone
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@TheRolo: [Text convo] Her: Can I come over right now? Me: [Puts entire mess in closet, puts high thread count sheets on bed & sprays Febreeze] Sure.
@TheQuietPsycho: CW: if you repeatedly see a cardinal, it's the spirit of a loved one. I think that's my mom Me: that's nice. Your mom just shit on that guy
@causticbob: Be careful when online dating, if someone describes themselves as outdoorsy, they might just be homeless.