@faizziy: My biggest weakness has been that I get attached very quickly.
@BBQJones28: Shout out to the dude who's followed and unfollowed approximately 25632 times this week.
@Snarfernini: You're nice, cute & single?
Can you introduce me to your friend who looks like he'd never return my texts? Yeah the one with the girlfriend.
@AmishPornStar1: According to all these BMI charts...
I DEFINITELY need to get taller next year.
@Kyle_Lippert: A college girl sends a text to her BF who doesn't respond "Could this night get any worse?" unaware that an alien fleet approaches earth
@TheMichaelRock: Never laugh at a toddlers joke unless you want to hear it repeated 425 more times.