@JimmerThatisAll: My biological clock is wheezing.
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@Gooooats: Me: I heard you like men with a huge collection of words that they know and can say. Her: A vocabulary? Me: A what?
@sixfootcandy: I filled my brother's shampoo bottle with olive oil and glitter last night. Have a great day in court, counselor!
@tastefactory: GUY 1: I beat cancer GUY 2: I backpacked thru Europe GUY 1: So what? GUY 2: And I didn't tell anyone about it when I got back GUY 1: You win
@DanielEdison_: "People keep accidentally asking me to purchase meat for them" "By mistake?" "Not you as well".