@ramenfuneral: my birthday is a month from today and all i want is this
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@KimmyMonte: I just saw Beauty and the Beast and now all I want to do is live with a water buffalo and talk to my furniture
@kelkulus: When I'm bored on a plane, I pull a random machine part out of my pocket and ask the person next to me "Do you know where this came from?"
@moooooog35: A bright side to having kids is that if I'm ever trapped in my car I have 3 years worth of half-empty water bottles and goldfish to live on.
@BromanConsul: My therapist told me today that I need to stop talking to inanimate objects, but I mean he's just a lamp so what does he really know anyway