@AsphaltFarmboy: My black friend asked me if there was a colored printer in the library. I said "WTF man, it's 2015. You can use whatever printer you want."
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@GrumpyComments: By the time you finish reading this tweet, you will be slightly closer to death than you were before. I hope it was worth it.
@electrolemon: this harriet tubman news is gonna make it super awkward every time i purchase slaves in cash
@TommyWallace: [Dad jokes anonymous] "...and I'm clean 30 days" Guy from back: HI CLEAN 3O DAYS I'M DAD "DAMN IT, JERRY!"