@backporchlady: My black pants had more cat hair on them after they came out of the dryer. Guess I should check the dryer for cats before I start it.
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@DurtMcHurtt: [family feud] Steve Harvey: Top 5 answers on the board, name a place you would plant evidence... Me: *buzzes first* EVIDENCE GARDEN
@tastefactory: [at subway] And just a little lettuce. *the guy starts backing a truck full of lettuce toward my sandwich & the truck is beeping* No wait.
@iwearaonesie: "Don't put it on my plate if you don't want me to eat it!" - me to my kid, who's crying because I ate the playdoh burger he put on my plate