@AngelaEhh: My bladder has been tested on this road trip. I still don't know how far a 'mile' really is but I can drive 75 of them before I have to pee.
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@internetluke: [showing my family to coworker] This is a picture of my daughter & my cat. Mittens & Jack. "You named your daughter Jack?" Nope, mittens
@mattytalks: I have a rare muscle disease that causes my hands to write racist things that I don't remember later. The Doctor is calling it Ron Palsy