@AngelaEhh: My bladder has been tested on this road trip. I still don't know how far a 'mile' really is but I can drive 75 of them before I have to pee.
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@Jandalize: Good morning to everyone except people that sit right beside me when there are lots of other seats open.
@robdelaney: My mom always used to give me a card on Valentine’s Day when I was a kid. She stopped doing it when we broke up.
@Dschnoeb: Someone who blocked me on Twitter just added me on Instagram. If you can't love me at my bad jokes, you don't deserve me at my cat photos.
@WilliamRodgers: I'd rather drop a baby than my iPhone.... I mean I can make another baby, but I have no clue how to make an iPhone.