@Loli_Sug: My boss bought a breathalyzer for our office because everyone comes back from lunch drunk. My personal best is .16
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@Playing_Dad: I put the tomatos and the ketchup right next to each other in my refrigerator just so all the food knows I have no mercy
@AmishPornStar1: Pro Tip: You can disable the surveillance camera in your microwave by heating a metal fork on the high setting for 7 minutes.
@ka_unplugged: When I see an ugly guy buying condoms, I restore my faith in myself by thinking that he bought them only because balloons weren't available
@Pirate_nurse: Don't forget to put everybody before her so she has no clue whether you really give a shit or not