@Loli_Sug: My boss bought a breathalyzer for our office because everyone comes back from lunch drunk. My personal best is .16
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@w00f_w00f: Hate it when couples fight & change their relationship status to "single". I fight with my parents, and don't change my status to "orphan".
@RobElliottComic: I don't mean to sound like a tough guy but I've been in New York City for almost two hours and I've only cried like 31 times...
@LosLos__: Me: I love you, too...umm... [Wife says her name] Me: See? After all these years we're still finishing each other's sentences.