@bellicosejason: My boss calls me chief, so I really don't know who's in charge anymore. I hope it's not me because I haven't been paying attention.
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@Wine_Charmer: [lying in front of the fire] 11: Do you think she's asleep or dead? 9: *throws toy, 2 massive dogs pounce on me* Me: *screams* 9: Asleep
@Underchilde: What I bring to a relationship is pretty much the same stuff you can pick up at any hardware store.
@GregDorris: It's impossible to have an *ok* time on a trampoline. It's either the most fun you've ever had or you go to the hospital.
@TheFearBoners: When God closes a door, He opens a window. God does not give a shit about your electric bill.