@bellicosejason: My boss calls me chief, so I really don't know who's in charge anymore. I hope it's not me because I haven't been paying attention.
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@AndLive2Love: My Girlfriend wanted a cat. I didn't want a cat. So we compromised and we got a cat...
@JawnQSack: Marilyn Monroe died & was reincarnated into thousands of white girls who can't be handled at their worst, and aren't deserved at their best.
@UnFitz: [firing squad] Captain: Any last words? Prisoner: Why, yes. I'd like to speak with you for a moment about gun control.
@eeethanford: *Stubs cigarette out in palm to look tough* *waits till everyone leaves* *takes out cell phone* Hello 911? Please send all your ambulances