@bellicosejason: My boss calls me chief, so I really don't know who's in charge anymore. I hope it's not me because I haven't been paying attention.
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@Fred_Delicious: [2 dogs eating dinner] "u know Sharon, that life insurance policy u found me is great" [stops chewing] "why does this taste like chocolate"
@OldUncleDaveO: I run from my car all the way to the front door of McDonald's because fitness is a lifestyle
@mrsmith196645: Guys, if your lady tells you she needs windshield wiper blades, SHE DOES NOT MEAN FOR CHRISTMAS!
@OkieGirl405: I changed my relationship status to "I'm sharpening my knives" on Facebook so my boyfriend's family will never come visit