@why_vann: My boss just asked me why I wasn't working.. ..i told em cuz I didn't see him coming
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@MannyDiesel: Will smith literally runs in every movie. Name one movie he didn't run in. I'll wait
@osigat: When I was young, I wanted to date a doctor for money. How superficial was that? Now it would be for the prescriptions.
@weinerdog4life: If you're ever attacked by a bear play deaf, be like "I can't even hear you bear"
@sarousti: FYI - so it IS illegal to put a skylight on the 5th floor of an 8th floor apartment building