@No_Job_Joe: My boss just fired me because I spent the past 45 minutes taking a crap. I don't see why he can't just clean it off his desk, and move on.
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@ilovepie84: Whenever I see a new couple on a date I walk up to their table, hold up my phone and tell the guy "You're Wife Sarah says hello".
@LackOfShame: Have fun, but be careful. Your sister was vacuumed up last week, and yesterday your cousin was killed with a shoe. - spider moms, probably
@theyearofelan: This reminds me of the time I fired my mother when she was investigating the case of "who ate all the cookies?"