@nettie0918: My boss just informed me its unprofessional to tell customers congratulations when they call in to change last name due to divorce.
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@stephenjmolloy: Magician: "Think of a number." Me: "Okay." Magician: "Are you thinking of a number?" Me: "Yes." *the crowd goes wild with applause*
@TheBoydP: I love that old Revolutionary War saying about shower sex “Don’t shoot until you see the soap in their eyes…” or something like that.