@AllieA: My boss just sent me the heart eyes emoji. Since we're clearly being honest with each other I replied with a monkey with a gun to its head.
YOU MIGHT ALSO LIKE
@RobocopLust: 911: 911. What's your emergency? Me: I'm bleeding profusely. 911: Sir, this line is reserved for joke formats. Me: ...
@KentWGraham: I hate when I’m running on the treadmill for half an hour and look down to see it’s been 4 minutes.
@AlexvanBeek: Played Monopoly with a kid & argued that I CAN buy the jail.. Teaching him a valuable lesson about the privitisation of the prison system.