@AllieA: My boss just sent me the heart eyes emoji. Since we're clearly being honest with each other I replied with a monkey with a gun to its head.
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@CastAwayKristen: Me: Dropped my phone & now screen doesn’t work. Help forum: Should’ve had a better case. Apparently, my mother works in Samsung support now.
@Cheeseboy22: Sometimes, during the movie previews, I'll turn to the stranger sitting next to me and whisper, "We should really go see that together."
@solommb: My car has the innate super power of knowing when I have any extra money and spontaneously breaking down.
@dumbbeezie: Me: What are the lyrics to every 80s sitcom I've ever seen Brain: Coming right up Me: Remember to pay that bill Brain: Nope