@AllieA: My boss just sent me the heart eyes emoji. Since we're clearly being honest with each other I replied with a monkey with a gun to its head.
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@Brianhopecomedy: My wife said that my 5 year old gets really hyper because of the sugar he has at breakfast so I think I'll stop putting it in his coffee.
@DanMentos: [guy in charge of naming superheroes] Superman, next Batman, next Wonder Woman, next Aquaman, next *takes a hit of acid* Green Lantern