@Book_Krazy: My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
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@realbjdunne: [first ever rap battle] me (carrying five rolls of decorative paper and a scotch tape dispenser): alright give me some scissors, let’s do this *whispering* me: oh that does make more sense
@seriouslyemily: Dipping your cats in blue paint and watching them chase each other is 1000x more entertaining than Avatar.
@dril: BOSS TELLS ME I CAN KISS MY FERRETS AT WORK, BUT NO OPEN MOUTH. I PUNCH THE FLOOR SO HARD HIS SCREEN SAVER DEACTIVATES
@Henry_3k: Meanwhile at the drugstore... What do you mean I can't drink alcohol with this medication? You're not a bartender! You're just a pharmacist.