@Book_Krazy: My boss says I intimidate the other employees, so I just stared at him until he apologized
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@jus4golf: I am angry but not like really angry. More like Facebook angry where I call you letters of the alphabet. You F'ing B.
@KalvinMacleod: WIFE: you need a haircut ME: I do not WIFE: *whistles and a little bird pops up on top of my head, chirping* ME: shhhh, she just had babies