@HeyZeus666: My boss thinks that homosexuality is a disease, so I'm calling in gay tomorrow.
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@iwearaonesie: *wife wonders where I am* *hears every musical snowman in the store start singing* *knows where I am*
@TheSadnesses: [elevator] “Wanna buy a spoon?” Huh, no, why? [elevator slowly fills with pudding] [opens briefcase filled with spoons] [sheepishly] Yes.