@heyevergreen: My boss threw a Snickers at me and I caught it one handed so I think I'd be a good athlete if sports were played with candy bars
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@DaddyJew: I put the D in donut. And I do it quickly before any of my coworkers return to the break room *giggles*
@QwertyJones3: TIME TRAVELER: I'm here from the future ME: Really? Who wins the election? TT: Omg it's such a disgrace ME: You need to be more specific
@Spaziotwat: [Hospital] Doctor:"...and so the baby is fine." Me:"And my wife?" Doc:"I'm afraid she's critical" Me:"I know! But how is she?"