@browneyegirl9: My boyfriend asked for a dirty pic last night, I was able to get my whole kitchen in the shot. That should last him a while! He's so weird.
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@TheJK_Story: [First day as hitman] ME: Don't worry boss, I'll deal with him accordionly. BOSS: Wait, you mean accordingly? ME: *hides accordion* yes.
@Contwixt: It's widely known that some members of a prison population become well-read and crafty with words. Sometimes you can mix prose with cons.
@just1fool: My dog wouldn't shut up so I told him I killed the mailman. He was jealous but proud of me.