@SondraDeeMe: My boyfriend doesn't like when I give our neighbors nicknames like, "Beard Man" "Jolly Girl" and "the one I slept with in 2009."
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@iAmDelFreaky: *plays Rocky theme song* *cracks 5 raw eggs into glass and gulps them down* *vomits on kitchen floor* *turns off music* *cleans kitchen*
@loudmouth_usa: TSA Agent (looking at my ID): Is this you? Me: I believe that is ultimately your decision to make sir.