@MrsMikePatton: My boyfriend got pissed because I didn't swallow. Is it my fault I have a nut allergy?
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@daisy_gi11: Anybody else always feel at least a little panic when their 6 says he "really needs scissors, like right now!"?
@envydatropic: In the 80s they used an egg in a frying pan to demonstrate a brain on drugs only because they didn't have Twitter in the 80s
@iamburtjarvis: [2016, cincinnati zoo. boy falls into the enclosure] other gorilla: something brought a boy to the yard harambe [making a milkshake]: SHIT