@MrsMikePatton: My boyfriend got pissed because I didn't swallow. Is it my fault I have a nut allergy?
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@paperphotoyo: Managed to scare off my prison pen pal. Crazy doesn't even begin to cover what's wrong with me.
@WineMummy: Sure laying me down on a "Bed of Roses" sounds all romantic and shit, but I much rather lay on a bed of fries and onion rings.
@Tetley6969: At the restaurant I heard a lady say her taco was too salty. My wife had to leap over the table and cover my mouth before I said something.