@Branka_R: My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting...
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@MartaEffing: [breakup talk] H: Gimme one last chance! M: How can I trust you again? H: She meant nothing to me! M: Not that. You bought lite sour cream!
@ninjadinosaur1: I think I want to be a ballerina. Or a fire dancer. Or I want to set a ballerina on fire. I don't know. I'm still working it out.
@FlyJ_: NyQuil: Because who doesn't like to dream about your cat turning into your dog and your dog taking you for a walk and picking up your poop.
@kDuncanG: MAYBE PEACH JUST LIKES BOWSER A LOT AND WE'RE FOLLOWING A NARRATIVE OF MARIO THE DELUSIONAL HOMEWRECKER. *cops pull me from operating room*