@Branka_R: My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting...
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@causticbob: I had a few too many beers at an art exhibition and threw up all over the floor. Someone offered me three grand for it.
@daemonic3: [working in garage] "Hand me a screwdriver, son" A flat one? "No" [mixes vodka and Orange Crush] Here ya go
@iRowlf: Prank Idea: Toss some red laundry in the ocean and turn the great white sharks into the great pink sharks.
@UNTRESOR: If you see a guy in an executioner's hood feeding a deer into a Coinstar today just let me do my thing.