@Branka_R: My boyfriend is being so nice to me since I showed him how easy it was to remove blood from carpeting...
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@trumpetcake: MY NANA WAS A FREAK IN THE SACK. Now granted, we didn't stuff her in that sack often, but boy would she freak out when we did.
@brocketxyz: My greatest accomplishment as a father? Teaching my son to scream, "I WANT MOMMY," whenever my wife sends me into his room.
@Shot_Of_Cabo: Impress your wife by cleaning something she just cleaned and then proudly announce, "There! Now it's clean."
@Beerhaze: If you have streaks of purple, green or blue in your hair, I will try to eat that cotton candy off your head until you tell me to stop.