@Goldishocks: My boyfriend is so cute I decided to get another.
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@KeetPotato: wife: can you stop messing around lawyer: im not wife: just read my husband's will please lawyer: that's what it says.. "oOoOoh im a ghost"
@robdelaney: Maybe if wommen's uteroids weren't such powerful mystery-swamps, the GOP wouldn't have to police them with #light & #K9 units.
@DulciePlaid: When I left for work this morning, the dog begged me to stay and the cat handed me my keys.